Even time outs or telling your children to go to their room can be abuse if it becomes abandonment or neglect. The key is that the punishment fits the crime and isn't done out of anger or any emotion of that nature but is done as an equal and opposing reaction to the wrongful act that has been committed.
If you are a Christian the Bible even encourages you to discipline your children:
Proverbs 13:24:
"He that spare the rod hateth his son: but he that Loves him chasteneth him betimes."
Hebrews 12:11:
"Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby."
Proverbs 22:15:
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
There are numerous other verses in Proverbs about spanking.
I also believe that for spanking to be effective and discipline instead of abuse is for the child to understand. You have to make sure they understand why they are being spanked or in their mind you just hit them for no reason.
HOWEVER, I also am not an advocate that spanking is necessarily the only way to discipline a child. As mentioned earlier, the punishment needs to be equal to the wrongdoing. I also think your child can grow up to be a great person by being disciplined in some way other than spanking. The important thing is that they are disciplined accordingly.
